Hatman is flattered to receive his red velvet wafer bed. “I-Is this really for me?!”
Hatman is very glad, since he considers himself to be trash, and less than a blue worm. Have you ever seen a blue worm? Probably not, because they are the lowest of the low in society, so they rarely show up in public.
Partygirl is less amused to be granted the blue flavor. What even is the blue flavor? Sometimes, it tastes more like purple flavor. Or a violet. Is is supposed to be blueberry? Partygirl has taste, but also standards. She thinks this wafer bed is some sort of bio hazard, and needs to think a bit more before she even considers taking a bite.
Those quest beds look like giant wafers. Giant buttery, crumbly wafers with marshmallow ink stamps. The flavors are red velvet, blue, vanilla, and boring. Maybe the last one is an organic buttery crumbly wafer, with some sort of nutrition between its baked flaky layers. Those kids look awfully disappointed to wake up on wafer beds.
ALRIGHT everyone, RIGHT or LEFT?
Heh. The key looks like it has a little Mario head on it.
That lock looks infected. See a doctor.
Another thing about the summary pages in Homestuck, Homestuck has way too much information presented on just about every page, and given that it is longer than the time it takes to plow a corn field with a toothbrush, they kind of need to be there. At first they were in the form of general summary pages that gradually became more witty because nobody was reading them, and now we have Caliborn arguing with the narrative to emphasize what is going on. At the moment, he is less of a character and more of a dynamic, like the NPC that accidentally reveals where the secret base is. Except Caliborn hates the entire game. So like a Disgaea NPC, if Disgaea hated you any more than it already does. Nice weapon there, by the way. Did your mom pick it out for you?
Usually in media, the storyteller relies on the audience to utilize their own critical thinking skills in order to analyze the story. Unfortunately, Andrew Hussie has no faith in you, and therefore takes the time to spoon feed you some critical thought mash that you may have thrown out in high school. Or you are not in high school yet. Or never went. Either way, Andrew has no confidence in your thinking skills, and really, really wants to point out some real life lessons that you might lack the knowledge and wisdom to have figured out.
For example, having every single problem solved with deus ex machina makes for a boring, awful, shitty story. Additionally, the characters in Homestuck tend to have a thing called character development. You know, like how people change over the years and realize things. You might not be old enough to have gone through such significant change, so he really feels the need to point that out. Also, people generally have emotions. Maybe you knew that.
Critical thinking is important. Really, really important. Most of the time, you never hear about authors butting in saying that the popular critical thinking applied to their story is incorrect or insufficient. Sometimes, they do butt in.
One of my favorite recent example is Gigidigi’s Cucumber Quest, and her hilarious ongoing strife with members of several online communities. She has declared multiple times that one character has a crush on another character, and her fans try to argue with her. She is wrong, clearly, because, well, uh, you know, think about it. Members of TvTropes and Tumblr are apparently in a fuss over how to analyze this relationship, in feverish denial that any sort of bunny person crush is going on. Really funny. In her FAQ, she explains for the millionth time, yes, Peridot has a crush on Almond. This is a fact. This is the truth of the comic. Straight from Gigi, the person who is making the comic. Her comic. She says in regards to her comic that a part of her comic is a comic fact, and people tell her that she is wrong about her comic, the comic that she made.
Anyway, just read Cucumber Quest is the point, in the end.
Pretty good explanation of Homestuck right there. Teenagers doing stupid shit on an emotional whim that makes you want to punch them in the face. Just like reality, except Homestuck takes about five years before you get to punch the teenagers in the fucking face, and by then, you have hopefully matured enough to realize there are more annoying people to punch in the face. Perhaps you went to the gym and worked on your punch. Became fit. Changed some habits and are now living a happy, healthy life with friends and family and a stable job with a living wage. Developed critical thinking skills and maturity to look at the world with a new perspective.
Unless you were just sitting and refreshing the page for five fucking years.