What the fuck is Homestuck

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191 notes &

Mini-analysis of John’s relationship with Davesprite ( and Dave )

So, John claims that Dave and Davesprite are the same person, despite previously calling his Dave the “real Dave”. He was passive towards Davesprite, always calling him “orange Dave” or “Davesprite” or implying that he is not a “real Dave”. Despite this, he now insists that Davesprite is the exact same as his supposed best friend and suddenly refuses call him anything but Dave. Alright, I will take a look at the relationship between John and his alternate-but-not-alternate best bud. They must have some sort of close relationship - after all, Davesprite is the exact same as his best friend. And he never met his best friend in person. They must both be totally psyched to have each other around after a year of finally meeting and getting the chance to chill together! 

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Filed under John Dave homestuck wtfih9 reflections reflection tl;dr analyses analysis liveblog

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It has technically been his birthday for years. How would they tell time? How fast are they travelling? 

Andrew mentioned that to him, it only seemed like the kids were travelling for a few seconds, but to the kids it seems like years. If you never payed attention in physics, this is because time and space are kind of the same thing. Time is relative. You can travel through time. The faster you move, the faster you travel through time.

Anyway, the kids are functioning on a time different from Andrew, if I recall correctly. At the same time. Their years are his seconds, his seconds are their years, etc. You know how when you are in an airplane and cars seem to be going really slow? Something like that. I forget the details. 

Fun fact, time passes by faster on top of mountains than at sea level. 

Physics aside, their internal clocks must be really fucked up by now, with no rising or setting sun. Hopefully they have implemented some sort of “lights out” time to synch up everyone’s sleep schedule. Human bodies need darkness. They also need light. Having a night light might make it harder for you to sleep. 

After looking back a few pages, I discovered/remembered that they are at the beginning of year 2, meaning one relative year has passed, so amending the above comment, it looks like Jade and John have established some sort of relative calender with an atomic clock or some Earth clock somewhere and that day happens to technically be his birthday. The citizens of the other planets probably had other ways to calculate a “year”, like how the Alternians did with sweeps, so it was up to John, Jade, and fluffy bird asshole to revive their calender and to have the unpopular method of calculating time. As a reminder, to us a “day” is 24 hours because of the Earth’s rotation, a year because of revolution. The other planets had different rotational and revolution periods, so time to them was probably calculated differently. The year is also different for those citizens, an example being year 5770 instead of 2010. With few to no reference points added to the fact that they are all about 14 years old, they might be calculating time wrong. 

It must have been interesting, a bunch of different beings coming together claiming it was a different year, different date, different hour, different month; unless there was some sort of time constant established somewhere. 

We can also keep in mind that it was a video game and they all somehow automatically knew the same language or had Google Translate readily built in. If the game citizens type in English for the Earth versions, do they appear in Alternian for the Alternian version? Is English translated to Alternian? Are all languages translated? Are they secretly all programmed in English? When they stopped typing into Pesterchum to chat, were the trolls able to understand English? Was it by magic? Did the game give them that knowledge? Does spoken English sound like spoken Alternian? Did they teach each other the written languages? Nak nak nak nak nak? Nak nak nak nak? Nak nak nak nak? Nak nak nak nak. Nak nak. 

( If you can see it, just replace all ? with ⸮ and go about your day. ) 

Filed under pesterlog quote wtfih9 blah blah blah blah do I want to know the intense details of the concepts I vaguely described? not really Homestuck I am reading Homestuck Liveblog Homestuck liveblog reflection tl;dr tldr friendly reminder do not answer rhetorical questions